Saturday, October 1, 2011
I am going to try to write a little more tonight. We will see how far I can get emotionally.
The court awarded me temp. custody of the children and then set a date for us all, my daughter the father and us, to appear for a full hearing. The weeks until we came to the court date where full of angry words, lots of tears, and mass confusion. We were all on edge, walking a fine line hoping not to fall off.
See, there are NO grandparent laws where we live, so our attorney told us right off the bat, that it was going to be hard to KEEP custody of the boys, and we had to prove BOTH parents (mother and father) unfit to care for these boys.
We had to first prove just who Alex's father was. I will never forget that first court date we had, when the judge asked who Alex's father was, the answer was (by the boys father) It could be me, it could be the boyfriend, it could be the truck driver down the street..I was floored, in tears, and so shocked !! So was the judge and everyone in the courtroom. So the judge ordered a paternity test, left the boys in my custody and set a new court date.
Before the judge set a new court date, the boys parents were trying to make it so that the fathers parents took custody instead of me. The judge asked me why that should not happen. Let me tell you, I had no idea what was going to come out of my mouth until I opened it. With the other set of grandparents sitting behind me in the court room, and me standing there by myself (we choose not to have our attorney present at this time so we could save and use all the money we had when we REALLY needed it, and she told us we would be fine that date) I said a little prayer and started talking. Well, by the time I was done, I had no idea what I had even said (I was so nervous) but I had put enough doubt in the judge's mind that he told them all not to come back.
My daughter and her possie (I call them, friends that came with her to court) started cussing and yelling, they were lucky not to go to jail that day. We asked the judge not to put them in jail because I couldn't handle anymore, and because we really needed all the so called, show and tell we could get at this point, and let's face it folks, what better way of show and tell than to just sit back and let them show all themselves, right ?
I had to make a choice here because I was going against my own child to save her children. I had to close down my feelings. That is not an easy thing to do as a Mother, but it was easier to do because I know right from wrong any day. I have always told my children that if they are right, or really believe that they are right (right maybe not being the right word) but believe in something 100%, giving it their best, fighting (standing up for right) I would ALWAYS stand with them...BUT...If they were wrong, or doing wrong, I would NOT stand with them. What my daughter was doing was WRONG. I stood on the side of the boys. They had no other voice, I had to be their voice !!
While all this was going on we started to notice some very 'odd' things with Alex. His body was always stiff, he was not feeding well, his feet, hands and face would turn whiter than white at times, he did not want to sleep, he did not want to be held or cuddled, he could not stand to be dressed, he cried all the time. SO we were in and out of the hospitals, doctors offices, and trying to handle getting ready for court, and Mason was having 'fear' issues, he was 'withdrawing' at times.
I was SO confused during these months of my life, but I was NOT in fear. I can not explain the feeling I had for these months. I just did what I had to do, said a prayer everyday and knew that my prayers were going to be answered. I was not sure it was going to be the way I wanted it, but I knew the boys were going to be SAFE. Remember a few post back when I said I whispered in Mason ear, that I had to let him go right then but that I was sending special angels to be with him until I could do something to help him? Well, from that day forward, there was this peace I ALWAYS had, even if it was just a little bit of peace in all the confusion, and tears, I still felt that piece of peace.
I will stop here tonight. I have to get the details in order from this point on. As I said this was a very fast moving, lot going on, confusion time in my life, and I want to tell the story in order by the happenings.
Hug's
The court awarded me temp. custody of the children and then set a date for us all, my daughter the father and us, to appear for a full hearing. The weeks until we came to the court date where full of angry words, lots of tears, and mass confusion. We were all on edge, walking a fine line hoping not to fall off.
See, there are NO grandparent laws where we live, so our attorney told us right off the bat, that it was going to be hard to KEEP custody of the boys, and we had to prove BOTH parents (mother and father) unfit to care for these boys.
We had to first prove just who Alex's father was. I will never forget that first court date we had, when the judge asked who Alex's father was, the answer was (by the boys father) It could be me, it could be the boyfriend, it could be the truck driver down the street..I was floored, in tears, and so shocked !! So was the judge and everyone in the courtroom. So the judge ordered a paternity test, left the boys in my custody and set a new court date.
Before the judge set a new court date, the boys parents were trying to make it so that the fathers parents took custody instead of me. The judge asked me why that should not happen. Let me tell you, I had no idea what was going to come out of my mouth until I opened it. With the other set of grandparents sitting behind me in the court room, and me standing there by myself (we choose not to have our attorney present at this time so we could save and use all the money we had when we REALLY needed it, and she told us we would be fine that date) I said a little prayer and started talking. Well, by the time I was done, I had no idea what I had even said (I was so nervous) but I had put enough doubt in the judge's mind that he told them all not to come back.
My daughter and her possie (I call them, friends that came with her to court) started cussing and yelling, they were lucky not to go to jail that day. We asked the judge not to put them in jail because I couldn't handle anymore, and because we really needed all the so called, show and tell we could get at this point, and let's face it folks, what better way of show and tell than to just sit back and let them show all themselves, right ?
I had to make a choice here because I was going against my own child to save her children. I had to close down my feelings. That is not an easy thing to do as a Mother, but it was easier to do because I know right from wrong any day. I have always told my children that if they are right, or really believe that they are right (right maybe not being the right word) but believe in something 100%, giving it their best, fighting (standing up for right) I would ALWAYS stand with them...BUT...If they were wrong, or doing wrong, I would NOT stand with them. What my daughter was doing was WRONG. I stood on the side of the boys. They had no other voice, I had to be their voice !!
While all this was going on we started to notice some very 'odd' things with Alex. His body was always stiff, he was not feeding well, his feet, hands and face would turn whiter than white at times, he did not want to sleep, he did not want to be held or cuddled, he could not stand to be dressed, he cried all the time. SO we were in and out of the hospitals, doctors offices, and trying to handle getting ready for court, and Mason was having 'fear' issues, he was 'withdrawing' at times.
I was SO confused during these months of my life, but I was NOT in fear. I can not explain the feeling I had for these months. I just did what I had to do, said a prayer everyday and knew that my prayers were going to be answered. I was not sure it was going to be the way I wanted it, but I knew the boys were going to be SAFE. Remember a few post back when I said I whispered in Mason ear, that I had to let him go right then but that I was sending special angels to be with him until I could do something to help him? Well, from that day forward, there was this peace I ALWAYS had, even if it was just a little bit of peace in all the confusion, and tears, I still felt that piece of peace.
I will stop here tonight. I have to get the details in order from this point on. As I said this was a very fast moving, lot going on, confusion time in my life, and I want to tell the story in order by the happenings.
Hug's
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
