Thursday, January 12, 2012
I am so tired my eyes are heavy and hurting. I feel like total crap from being sick and the boys are still sick. two weeks of agony right now.
Mason is doing better, still coughing and on breathing treatments, and runny nose. His asthma is going to be a BIG issues this year. I did however send him back to Preschool today. He really needed the break and so did I.
Alex is just plain out still sick...fever and all. I am just hoping it all ends soon at this point.
I have found myself going through ups and downs almost every minute these last week. Maybe because I am so tired, but 1 minute I am totally crying and the next I am almost hysterically laughing. I have prayed for dark just so i can go to bed for a few hours.
Even as I sit here writing tonight Alex is in his bed head banging. This goes on for hours. His head and face have so many marks on it, I get so distraught. During this sick time his head banging has increased by 100% and I fell so lost as to what to do. We have not been able to have therapy either and that makes a BIG difference to. Although no one has yet to be able to get control on his head banging, or to tell me why.
So many new behaviors are coming up in the boys now as they get older and I have yet to get a grip on the old but still happening ones...I need things to slow down a bit so I can think but that is not going to happen. Right now it is all I can do to remember to give the boys their meds at the right times. That sounds bad I know, but if you were as tired as I am, you would completely get that.
I have cancelled my last 2 doctors appointments for myself and my doctors are not at all happy with that so I will really have to work on that part of my life I know. I can't afford to get sick, it could be devastating.
My head is spinning in circle so I will stop writing for tonight because it's not all making sense to me, so I know it's not making sense to you either, sorry.
Oh, 1 more thing though. I best friend Kathy killed herself. She had so much going on that she just couldn't get past I guess, but I MISS her so much and I am so angry at her all at the same time. She was there for me for 20 years and I couldn't be there to help her...I was to LATE, I am angry with myself for that.
I guess I have a lot to work through and until I do, I guess I not really good for anyone, but I miss my friends, I miss talking and laughing. *hug's*
Mason is doing better, still coughing and on breathing treatments, and runny nose. His asthma is going to be a BIG issues this year. I did however send him back to Preschool today. He really needed the break and so did I.
Alex is just plain out still sick...fever and all. I am just hoping it all ends soon at this point.
I have found myself going through ups and downs almost every minute these last week. Maybe because I am so tired, but 1 minute I am totally crying and the next I am almost hysterically laughing. I have prayed for dark just so i can go to bed for a few hours.
Even as I sit here writing tonight Alex is in his bed head banging. This goes on for hours. His head and face have so many marks on it, I get so distraught. During this sick time his head banging has increased by 100% and I fell so lost as to what to do. We have not been able to have therapy either and that makes a BIG difference to. Although no one has yet to be able to get control on his head banging, or to tell me why.
So many new behaviors are coming up in the boys now as they get older and I have yet to get a grip on the old but still happening ones...I need things to slow down a bit so I can think but that is not going to happen. Right now it is all I can do to remember to give the boys their meds at the right times. That sounds bad I know, but if you were as tired as I am, you would completely get that.
I have cancelled my last 2 doctors appointments for myself and my doctors are not at all happy with that so I will really have to work on that part of my life I know. I can't afford to get sick, it could be devastating.
My head is spinning in circle so I will stop writing for tonight because it's not all making sense to me, so I know it's not making sense to you either, sorry.
Oh, 1 more thing though. I best friend Kathy killed herself. She had so much going on that she just couldn't get past I guess, but I MISS her so much and I am so angry at her all at the same time. She was there for me for 20 years and I couldn't be there to help her...I was to LATE, I am angry with myself for that.
I guess I have a lot to work through and until I do, I guess I not really good for anyone, but I miss my friends, I miss talking and laughing. *hug's*
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